Funeral directors generally organise the majority of funerals, however some people prefer to organise funerals themselves.
Some of the tasks that a funeral director does in organising the funeral include collecting and moving the body, arranging embalming and viewing of the deceased, providing a coffin, hearse and other elements. These services relieve the bereaved from doing what they may feel are unpleasant and difficult tasks. Funeral director operate commercially and in charging for his or her services, funerals can be expensive. In addition, the funeral director imposes him/herself on the arrangements to a greater or lesser degree.
Some people do not wish to use a funeral director for a wide variety of reasons. They may not feel content in passing the body of a loved one over to strangers. Others may simply wish to save money by doing everything themselves or may have used a funeral director on a previous occasion and found the experience unsatisfactory. Some feel that personally organising a funeral is their final tribute and the best way to say goodbye to the deceased person. Some may feel that funerals arranged with a funeral director are restrictive, and some may desire an innovative and different approach. It is, of course, your right to make this decision without giving a reason.
Funerals referred to as 'Personalised' or 'Independent', rather than the possibly offensive term 'DIY' funeral can be handled entirely by the bereaved family. These funerals will be different because traditional funeral elements may be unobtainable. Currently, many funeral directors will not sell coffins separately; neither will they offer a hearse for use, unless the entire funeral package is purchased.
Consequently, personalised funeral arrangers use their own vehicles or hire vans in lieu of a hearse. They may also make their own coffin or use a biodegradable type. There are now web sites and service that can be obtained to help facilitate this.
When families arrange their own funeral, comments are levelled that such funerals lack 'dignity'. It is important to refute this comment. Firstly, where a personalised funeral accords with the wishes of the deceased or the bereaved, it obviously possesses the quality of being of “true value”. Secondly, dignity is too often ascribed to standard set by commercial organisations. Consequently, using this argument, the more you spend, the more dignity you can obtain. This is evident in funerals, where the use of an expensive hearse with many cars is perceived to possess a higher level of dignity than, say, a standard hearse with no official cars. It is important not to allow such sentiments to deny any individual the right to arrange a funeral without commercial involvement. Independent funerals arranged by the bereaved contain a far higher personal input, which evokes more emotion and often celebrates the life of the deceased in a more moving and individual way.
It is also important to remember that an independent funeral will require spend time making the arrangements, which include:
- Preparation and storage of the body .
- Arranging a vehicle to collect and transfer the coffin
- And people to act as pall bearers (those who would wish to carry the coffin into the chapel or to the graveside).
The Service
This can be as individual as the family wish to organise. It does not have to follow the traditional funeral patterns and may be secular (non religious) or you may wish to involve a minister.
We have service books in the chapel to help you conduct the funeral service including hymns if required and a vast library of music that can be played when required during the service. For full details of current music that has been downloaded visit http://www.wesleymusic.co.uk/musiclibrarylists/carleton.php The crematorium services are 30 minutes in duration but this takes into account entering and leaving the chapel. If you require more time then a double slot can be booked.
If you require any further assistance please do not hesitate to contact our staff.
Further information about independent funerals can be found on the BBC web site -http://www.bbc.co.uk/relationships/coping_with_grief/practicalissues_diyfuneral.shtml
|